Confessions

I have a confession to make. I am in over my head. I have more than I can handle. I am a blue diamond mother trying to make it on a black diamond family ski run.

Anyone who has gone downhill skiing knows the feeling when you head down a run harder than your skill and realize it partway down the hill. You have that out-of-control feeling where the poles are flying and you are going quite a bit faster than you can handle. You feel like you are going to crash any minute, every minute. You want to yell to the other skiers "Get out of my way! Novice skier coming through!" and you pray like crazy. Yeah, well that's how I am feeling about our family. This is out of control.

You might ask, "Well, why did you have so many children?" Good question! What I want to know is why Heavenly Father didn't stop me when I got married and say something like, "Now, Khristine, you weren't raised in the church and you were the baby, so you better just take it slow. Let's keep you on the bunny hill for a while. Let the gals who helped raised all their younger siblings have the fast and furious big families. Let's not overdo it." But no, He sends us twins right off the bat, and there I am, with no idea what I am doing, on the blue diamond hill to start. Then He lets us hop on the lift and head right up to the black diamond course without so much as a warning, "You might not want to do that!"

The problem is that we sure love all these children. Who would we do without? If I had to do it all over again, I wouldn't change one thing. Maybe I am just a glutton for punishment. So what is there to do? I guess I am going to have to pray my way all the way down to the bottom of the hill!