Gratitude

It was a busy week leading up to Christmas. I think everyone (or maybe every woman) feels that way as we try to manage all the details of showing our love for other people. At one point, I was feeling especially impatient with the demands and craziness of this large family. As I knelt down to say my bedtime prayer, I expressed my frustrations to the Lord. A gentle answer came to reassure my heart. "It will all be worth it."

On Christmas morning, I received a reinforcement of that answer. It had been a tough night. Including us, we had 23 people at dinner Christmas Eve. We had a great time, but everyone was tired from all the fun. We climbed into bed at 11:08 pm, a record for Christmas Eve, but that unfortunately didn't lead to extra sleep. Anna had been sick with an ear infection and the flu, so she was having an ususually hard time sleeping. Apparently Josh got the flu too because he felt terrible by bedtime and eventually threw up. Jeffrey woke up around midnight and came to get in bed with us. A storm was raging outside, and I could hear things banging around the backyard. Neither Rich or I got much sleep. At 5:30 am, just as I thought children were maybe going to sleep in, I heard footsteps on the stairs. I groaned inside at the lack of sleep and early hour, but then I smiled as I heard excited giggles and shouts. I shut the door but could still hear running up and down the stairs and lots of laughs and shouting. The rule is that they can look at their presents and sort out the gifts, but we don't have to come out until all the little children wake up. Their excitement was contagious. I wished so much to have a video camera so that I could see each child as he or she discovered the unwrapped gifts that were waiting. I was worried because Santa hadn't left much in the stockings, but nobody cared. At 6 am, Anna woke up and wanted a snack. Rich took her out, and Daniel came in to lay in bed and chat with me. He told me all about how excited everyone was. He even told me how cute Beth was when she discovered her Nutcracker, "big enough to crack real nuts" she exclaimed. Daniel doesn't think anything Beth does is cute, so that shows how happy he was feeling.

I lay there listening to the fun going on out in the living room, and I felt overwhelmed with gratitude. This is worth it. It is worth it now, and I believe it will always be worth it. I am so grateful for each of our children and for the opportunity to be their mother. I am grateful for the fun and joy of family life and for the struggles that make these happy times especially sweet. I heard Elder Boyd K. Packer say once that someday we will really understand what the name father means, and then we will have captured the true pearl of great price. On Chrismas morning, I understood what he meant just a little more.