I threw a tantrum this morning. I was sick, the baby was sick, and the house was a mess. No one had really done their pick-up chores the night before, and things were looking pretty dismal. So I threw a tantrum. I yelled at everyone, telling them that no one could do anything else until they got their neglected chores done. I stormed around the house, muttering about how no one cares about our house but me. I even slammed a door. I was feeling completely angry and sorry for myself. Finally, because I was feeling so miserable and since I hadn't read my scriptures yet, I hid out with them behind a shut and locked bathroom door.
As I sat there reading, praying for some heavenly guidance, a couple of scriptures jumped out at me. Ether 12:4 Whoso believeth in God might with surety hope for a better world. I was certainly hoping for a better world! I was hoping for a world where family members did their chores without being asked and Mom didn't have to work so hard!
Then I read D&C 25:10 And verily I say unto thee that thou shalt lay aside the things of this world, and seek for the things of a better. As I read, I began to calm down and realize that I was probably seeking for the things of the world by wanting my family to march at all times according to my instructions. Maybe wanting a clean house all the time was a thing of a better world and that I would just need to be patient (until I didn't have so many messy kids around!)
It was then, as I calmed down, that the Spirit came in and taught me the real lesson. Maybe the thing of a better world really is to be patient. Maybe my reaction, my overblown tantrum of impatience was the thing of this world that I needed to set aside. Maybe this is really all about learning to lay aside tantrums and pride and anger. Maybe Heavenly Father doesn't care how clean my house is but instead how I handle it when people and things don't go my way. Maybe what I am supposed to be seeking, rather than a perfect home and perfectly obedient children is, instead, patience and kindness and gentleness and meekness. Maybe this world with all its frustrations and imperfections (and messy kids) is a perfect setting for me to seek these Christlike characteristics. Ah, to find purpose in the struggle. So I'm not just a lousy mom with lousy, inconsiderate kids. I am just a work in progress!! One more chance to learn to be like the Savior.
I love the moment when the Spirit teaches me that, once again, Christ is the example I can look to for my behavior. I love the scriptures. I love that we can make mistakes and start over. And I love that, for the most part, the children have experienced enough tantrums that they don't get too upset but know that Mom is just blowing off steam.
I'm sorry! I'll do better! Us too! Let's get this place picked up and go on with the day.
3 comments:
I am so excited about your blog and about this entry! Thank you! Thank you! I hope you have a wonderful Thanksgiving (and that everyone pitches in for the dish duty!). We love you!!!!
I guess it's funny that you found it. I have felt a little self-conscious about telling people about it, especially since I can't seem to post more than twice a month (which is only twice since I created it!!) Our other blog is really for far-away grandparents, so I don't get to record feelings much. Anyway, thanks for caring about it. I am going to list it in our family newsletter, in case other people are interested. What a fun and considerate friend you are!
I'm so impressed that you can be wise in the midst of the muddle. That's when we need it and it is so hard to find clarity and perspective. Thank you for writing your thoughts down so we can all hang on to at least a bit of wisdom when we must unlock the door.
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