Today is all I have. I want my kids to know that I love them. I want to smile at them as many times as I can today.

--Michelle Duggar

Teenage drivers...who knew?

I have had people ask me for years if I was looking forward to having a driver. I would always enthusiastically respond yes, but it was a far-off dream. Now it is a reality, and I love it!

There are lots of reason why I love having extra drivers in the family. Of course, there are the obvious benefits, like having Jacob and Katie drive themselves (and Daniel) to seminary and school every day. They run to the store for me when I am out of something and need it right then for the dinner I am in the middle of making. They went out and bought their own school supplies this year. They even did a lot of their own clothes shopping. They drive themselves up to the church for 8:20 am youth choir practice!

All this self-driving saves me tons of time. But there is one benefit that I never expected--I am no longer the only person capable of returning library books!

For years, we have been debtors to the library as I would lose books, miss emails, or simply put off returning books. We have always had to rotate which card we used to check out books based on the one that had the least fines. Not anymore! Now I have drivers who run books back to the library for me the day they are due. Or even before they are due. It's heavenly!

But it gets better. Katie volunteered at the library this summer, so she got our library reading logs for us, picked up extra logs when we lost the first ones she brought us, checked out the next book in a series someone was reading, brought home stacks of easy readers for the little kids, and then returned everything the next time she went. Beautiful!

Now that school is back in session, she is no longer volunteering at the library. But, her soccer practice is right around the corner from the library. Alright!

So now we use the library again. One more reason to love that handy teenage license!

Awkward moments in parenting

Pretty much everyone in our family knows that we are "trying" to have another baby. To be honest, that word "trying" makes me uncomfortable, partly because the implications are a little embarrassing and partly because it causes people to make untrue assumptions. What "trying" means around our house is that we are not using birth control. Unfortunately, our entire life style--having eight children--is a very effective form of birth control. My guess is that people who aren't "trying" are more likely than we are to have a baby in the near future, especially now that we are back to school and fall sports.

Recently, one of my male family members (who shall remain nameless so that I can defend myself against the claim that I tell everyone everything) asked me if a woman ovulates when she is having her period. I spent a little time explaining about the menstrual cycle and how ovulation usually falls 14 days after the beginning of a woman's period.

Then he asked, "When you are ovulating, do you guys try every day to get pregnant?"

Uh. . .

So how would you answer that question?

I'll bet many parents, and probably all dads, would respond with "That's none of your darn business!"

That was my knee jerk reaction, to be honest. But I have a couple of good friends involved in family counseling. They have each explained to me that older children need to understand how the intimate marital relationship is something to look forward to, not be embarrassed about, and that, as they show self-control, they will be able to enjoy all these things later, all with no guilt, if they keep the commandments now.

I saw this as a potential teaching moment. An awkward teaching moment, but a powerful one.

So I was honest. I responded with a big smile, "Well, we don't 'try' every day because we have eight children and and can't seem to get any privacy." Then I explained that most people with smaller families would try every day during that time of the month but that we can still get pregnant because sperm hang around for 3-5 days after intercourse. Which means it really only takes one attempt. Then we talked about the difference between male and female sperm, etc, etc, etc, finally leaving the very personal topic of Rich and I.

Several other family members were in the room, so I took the opportunity to announce how great it is to be married and how they have a wonderful physical relationship to look forward to, made even better if they will show self-control now.

Through the whole exchange, I noticed Rich stayed noticeably absent, hiding out in the kitchen. He was probably thinking, "That's none of their darn business!"

Were these questions motivated by real curiosity, or by raging hormones? Was this just a chance to talk about sex? Probably all of the above. But at least this child felt comfortable enough to talk about it at home. I can guarantee they hear plenty of talk at the school, and it's not about how wonderful married life is!

We took these pictures at Temple Square after our family reunion in July. I love them. For some reason, it really touches my heart to see the children as they look at the temple and the reflecting pond with their cousins.

As usual, the idealism portrayed in the pictures is far from what really happened. It looks so peaceful but it was crazy. We had 14 children with us that night. I kept thinking someone was going to fall in as they ran from one place to another and leaned in as far as they could to reach the money in the reflecting pond. In fact, we decided not to take a family picture. It felt like we were pushing our luck as it was.

Just like life. You get snap shot moments, just like the photo of the kids with the sun and the temple in the background, that remind you what you are doing this for and what the goal is. The rest of the time it's busy and crazy. It feels like we have had a lot of those happy, snap shot moments lately.

I love this picture, too, because the Evans' family minus Nancy (one of Rich's step-sisters) went with us to the temple. I love having them in the picture, too.

My big goal in life, the whole purpose of just about every thing I do every day is to get my children into the temple all together one day. The family reunion made me realize, more than ever, that I want not just my children, but the Evans children and the Snyder children and the Keables children and the Walker children (Idaho and California) and the Arellano children and on and on to be there, too.

I guess it's just really being part of the Father's work, 'to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life' of our family. And everyone's family.

Spiritual Food

Katie and I attended Girls' Camp together this summer. I went as a counselor group leader and Katie went as my YCL (Youth Camp Leader). Together with another YCL, we were over eight 2nd year campers. This was my first experience at Girls' Camp as a member of the church.

The YCLs had their own tent, but I was stayed with the eight girls in a tiny cabin. We slept together, ate together, hiked together, and attended all the activities, other than free time, together. Because of this, all my regular personal habits, like kneeling prayer and scripture reading, didn't happen.

I loved being a counselor, but one challenging thing was the lack of sleep. It took until nearly midnight every night to get everyone settled and in bed before I could finally fall asleep. Then, one of the girls was determined to get a hot shower every morning, which meant she and her friends next to us were up at 5:30 am every morning.

I need more sleep than that or I start to get really crabby.

Then, on Thursday morning, one of the girls thought it was funny to pretend she was talking in her sleep. She pretended that she was swimming with Justin Bieber and that he was drowing. She would scream, "Justin! Justin! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" in a high-pitched voice, over and over again. The other girls believed her and kept trying to wake her up. She would pause for a minute, and then she would start all over again. She did this from 6 to 6:30 am. All I wanted to do was sleep. The camp alarm wouldn't go off until 7 am, and I was desperate for just another few minutes, but I never could go back to sleep.

I was very crabby that morning. I was wondering how I would talk to her about this so it didn't happen again. I was not feeling like using my nice, kind leader voice.

After breakfast, we had what they call Sacred Grove time. We had to find a place as a group, and we had 45 minutes to read our scriptures and write in our journals.

The camp we attend is built on a mountain, and the lodge overlooks the lake below. You can see the view in the picture above.

We settled ourselves on a rock behind the lodge, with the trees and rocks around us, and a clear view of the lake below. A Stake leader had challenged us to read three specific sections of the D&C, so in this gorgeous setting, I settled in to read for 30 completely uninterrupted minutes.

It was as if I had been hungry and sat down to a great, big dinner. I felt spiritually fed. I felt my heart soften, and my mind fill with love for our Father in Heaven and His Son, and for my camp girls. Suddenly, I remembered how the Savior wants us to treat one another and I felt like being kind and patient with the girls, even though I was tired.

That 30 minutes kept me going for the rest of the week.

I was reminded by this experience that my spirit needs to be fed just as badly my body needs to be fed.

This is supposed to make you laugh, not post comments about what good parents we are (although we aren't necessarily turning those down)

Last Friday night, Rich and I went to the temple together. I happened to sit next to a pregnant woman. I discovered after the session in the changing room that she is expecting her 8th baby. We visited for a few minutes, sharing thoughts and ideas about our families. Her name is Aurelia.

Aurelia asked me how I handle all the laundry. She expressed, "I don't have the laundry handled yet. I don't have a system that works. The toys? Those I have handled. But not the laundry."

As I left the changing room, I thought to myself that we don't have much "handled." But then I realized that this was pessimistic thinking. We have all kinds of things handled.

Rich and I made a short list:

We have putting our kids to bed too late handled.

We have looking past the over-flowing laundry baskets handled.

We have saying sorry over and over again handled.

We have feeling overwhelmed handled.

We have ignoring the mess handled (well, maybe not handled, but we are pretty darn good at it.)

We have collapsing on the bed in exhaustion handled (which might explain the mess...)

Yep, we have a lot of things handled. I hope the other stuff that we don't have handled doesn't matter too much. ; )

Jacob and Katie turned 16 and the laundry piled up

16 years ago, when we had our newborn baby twins on May 17, three days before my birthday, I was just glad I was able to finish my college classes and get through graduation before they were born. It never occured to me what having two birthdays at the end of May would mean later on. It's not as bad as having two birthday in December, but it is pretty bad.

In the month of May, we attended one track trials, two track finals, two orchestra concerts, three awards banquets, and three graduation/promotion ceremonies. We had my mother-in-law visit, celebrated the twins birthday on two different nights, and held a 16th birthday party on a third, separate night. We also searched for and purchased a used car (after we found out the cost of insurance if we put one of the twins on Rich's car).

I personally went to the DMV three times in one week. In person. For things you cannot do on-line. And I'm not done. I get to go back to the DMV one more time next week. None of these were to transfer the title on the new car.

All of these activities involved our oldest three children who are attending public school. (This is why I always say that home schooling is easier.)

Of course, normal life also went on. During the month of May, we had multiple birthday parties to attend and gifts to buy, and we were invited to three different baby showers. And I had to go grocery shopping and birthday shopping (and baby shower shopping). I was also supposed to be doing laundry, but something had to give. Beth was attending a weekly soccer clinic and Daniel was also playing two sports with its different games/meets, something he will continue to do all summer. (We are against this as a rule in our family but for Daniel--Mr. Energy--we make an exception...)

We also attempted to celebrate my birthday. That didn't go so well in the immediate family, but extended family, friends and Facebook birthday greetings came to the rescue!

Oh, and I need to mention that we all had the stomach flu over the course of the first two weeks of May. All ten of us.

Now my point in writing all this is not to have a pity party. I love our big family, and really busy times come with the territory. However, writing it down justifies to myself why I have about 20 loads of laundry to do and why I cried for an hour after I got home from Stake Conference, telling Rich "I just can't do anything else!" And it explains why all I wanted to do on Memorial Day was sleep.

It also explains why I have about ten different things to post on this blog.

So if you are going to have twins, I wouldn't have them in May or June (or December) if you can help it. Either that, or just get used to wearing some of your clothes for a few days in a row! ; )